mc_mike: (little grin)
[personal profile] mc_mike
How much do I owe you for your packing services? Remember I'm poor here and in the process of moving back halfway across the ruddy world, so 5 Knuts is my limit. That sound fair enough?

Snazzy job on the invites as well. This mean I'm getting my waterfall of alcohol?

Date: 2009-02-23 05:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It was pity that caused me to assist you. How difficult do you make putting things in boxes? And mismatched things, no less! 5 Knuts hardly covers it.

I knew you'd like them! I don't know about that, but Anthony is after the billywigs. He shouldn't have much trouble seeing as they're in his pocket all the time.

What are you doing?

Date: 2009-02-23 06:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oi, I'm a bloke, not a witch with an overabundance of orderliness who's aroused by sorting rubbish.

Seeing as he's all the room, reckon it's an ace thing he's something in his pocket.

Eating bangers and toast. Might be imagining something that's improper as well but there's'n't any way to prove it.

Date: 2009-02-23 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Don't be ridiculous. It's a horrid task and not one I have interest in repeating anytime soon. That is not what arouses me, I'll have you know.


Oh. Boring meal, Michael, and hardly nutritious.

Date: 2009-02-23 06:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You went back and did things with Weasley that'll bring up my breakfast, yeah?

That's right. Room. Loads of it.

What's boring and nutritious have to do with tasty? You been talking with Padma? She'd be having me eat lettuce and cauliflower at every damn meal if she could. What're you doing?

Date: 2009-02-23 06:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]

I'd rather not think about where he does or doesn't have room, or what he does with it. That girl from the bar isn't that pretty.

You're as bad as Ron giving Brennan sweets.

I've just finished singing Brennan a song, and he's sleeping peacefully. That also means that I don't know what to do with myself until morning. Sometimes the night is very, very long.

Date: 2009-02-23 06:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Excuse me for a mo.

Right. All better now.

I'd rather not think on it either, truth told. Fucking brilliant thing there's nothing there to ruddy think on then, yeah?

You mean Jade?

Go on, admit it. I'm worse. I brought the kid his own petting zoo for Christ's sake. Although in all fairness, his parents should've bloody done the zoo but what's a godfather for but to make the parents look good and the kid all smiles?

Yeah, I've a few of those myself from time to time. You know what's a good cure for that?

Date: 2009-02-23 06:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
What was that for?

Yes, her. She's not that pretty.

You're allowed though in all fairness he does say Ron but he doesn't say Mike. So maybe Ron has more right after all.

What's a good cure?

Date: 2009-02-23 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
My bangers just made a second appearance.

From a witch's view, mayhaps.

Thought he was stuck on "Migh"? It's not my fault he's a speech impediment keeping him from pronouncing my name right.

A good wank.

Date: 2009-02-23 06:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Ron is very interesting in many ways. For one, he's rather good with conversation, and has a completely different take on things from anyone else I know. For another, he's quite amusing and thoroughly keeps my attention without making any effort at all. A finally, he's very talented in the bedroom, so I imagine you'll have a third appearance of your sausages, Michael. Ron and I do things that I'd never even imagined. How does that work for you?

At one point, yes, but he doesn't see you as often as he once did. He says "Won" quite well, though. He'll get the R sound eventually.

Michael. Be serious.

Date: 2009-02-23 06:55 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Reckon I'm giving up eating for the rest of my life. Happy?

That'll be remedied here in a few days though. Least we know he'll get his Ks down. Some kids never learn to say their Rs correctly. Damn shame it is, too.

I'm dead serious. You ever give it a try at bedtime before?

Date: 2009-02-23 06:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
No, not quite yet. Have you ever tried blind folds? Or scarves? Or anything interesting? I imagine Padma isn't very exploratory.

Ron is a far easier name than Michael. Not to mention Ron has brought him sweet in addition to toys. You have your work cut out for you. Brennan will not have speech problems, he won't.

That's not something that - it just isn't. Talking about it, it's not...ladylike.

Date: 2009-02-23 07:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Scarves've made an appearance a time or two. So's dancing. A couple others might've as well, but I s'pose I shouldn't be talking about those since they've nothing to do with my wife.

Not Michael - Mike. Only birds get away with calling me Michael. I'm not worried, anyroad. That kid'll want to grow up to be just like me, you watch.

Here you are asking me about scarves and blindfolds, but the M word scares you off?

Date: 2009-02-23 07:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Nothing of the sort occurred with my ex-husband either. Ron, on the other hand, is creative and...intriguing.

And yet I do believe you were annoyed with me when I called you Mike for the first time. I'm not sure whether to be insulted or amused.

You're married, why do you have need for it? I've never had much need for it, have I. And when I did, it was for someone else's entertainment. It's not something - you and I have ever discussed, that's all.

Date: 2009-02-23 07:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
There goes sleep for the rest of my life as well.

Me? Annoyed? Don't remember any such thing. You're making stories up now.

I'm not always with Padma, am I? And sometimes she's not in the mood, so what'm I to do, suffer blue balls?

We're discussing it now. So you've done it? Least you've a head start there.

Date: 2009-02-23 07:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, hell on toast, we don't discuss sex much at all. It was always rather a touchy subject considering our past, which I might add, seems a very long time ago, and hazy at best.

No, I woulnd't have you suffer in any way, of course not. But how often then? How often do you shag Padma and how often do you become friendly with your hand?

I can't believe we're discussing this. I really can't. Fine, yes, I have, but not often, and mainly for someone else's benefit, as I said. Perhaps for my own when I was pregnant and there was no other option. Do you know terrible it is to be pregnant and no resources? It was terrible, and you're supposed to have the best sex of your life pregnant. Seems unfair.

So you think it's really a reasonable thing to do to pass the time? Hm, perhaps not tonight since... You're making me discuss this! I'm a bit sore as it is. Hell on toast.
Edited Date: 2009-02-23 07:27 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-24 04:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
That your reasoning for it? Here I was thinking it was because I didn't want to hear about my mate's sex life and you were being merciful.

Anytime I've been to Blighty and she's'n't come with. Any other time when the urge strikes and she isn't around although truth told, I've'n't a need for wanking much these days seeing as how Padma's had a right healthy appetite for Mike sausage since moving here.

So you're telling me, through all that wordiness there, that it wasn't good?

You might want to look into a sitz bath for that.

Date: 2009-02-24 04:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You seem interested enough in mine, and you know he had a decent sex life. Not that it mattered in the end.

Mike sausage? Is that coming pre-packaged now? Pray tell, just WHAT has come over her? I warned her once, you know, about Mike Sausage. It seems she managed well enough.

It's always better with someone else. You'd rather your hand over Padma?

I think what I need is a proper massage, actually. Just not self-administered.
Edited Date: 2009-02-24 04:34 am (UTC)

Date: 2009-02-24 05:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Interested in the flying solo aspect there and what may or may not turn you on, not the one that includes my mate or any persons who name rhymes with Smeasley. Unless we're talking about Ginny here and then I reckon I've a right to every last sordid detail.

You mean to say you sang its glorious praises.

Nah, I'm too much a fan of sharing the experience, but when you've'n't anything else, it'll do. And it still feels good.

See, once the kangaroos make it back with me, you can start training them on that straightaway. You get really ace at training them, s'pose we could introduce a boutique next to Bellissima and start charging for it.

Date: 2009-02-24 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Flying solo, hm? Fine, sometimes, when I need it, but that's only when there isn't a better offer which is seldom. What turns me on? Are you seriously interested? You'll have to be more specific.

No, I warned her to use some proper lubricant.

No, but thank you.

Date: 2009-02-25 05:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's already public you like blindfolds and packaged meat goods. How about foot massages, long walks on the beach, having your hair washed, popping the boils on your lover's arse, sexy dance in some sexy pants, spurs and saddles?

That's brilliant. Cheers.

Date: 2009-02-25 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I know that I don't like having my hands bound, I don't like it at all. I've never had my hair washed, I don't think, at least not in an overtly romantic fashion.

Hm, I suppose... I like kissing, a lot of kissing. Snogging Ron is amazing, and shagging him even better. He has an interest in eating things off of me, but I can't complain. Chocolate sauce was brilliant! Tony and I - we didn't - nothing. Draco's ultimate goal was to get a blow job, but he never did get that. Shame too since I'm so good at it.

What do you like, then?

Date: 2009-02-25 06:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I'll answer, but could you do me a favour? You reckon you could leave the names off next time? Helps a slight not to conjure disturbing mental imagery there.

Snogging's ace but shagging's always going to beat it, isn't it? As for me, I like watching Padma dance, better still when it's just for me and she's only her bangles on. And don't laugh, but I like brushing her hair when she's in the bath as well. I've'n't a clue why but something about it is sexy as hell. I'll second you on the chocolate sauce and warn you off marshmallows. Bloody choking hazard. When I was with Cho, watching her during a Quidditch match was a surefire turn on. Then there's the little games we'd play with the other during the day. You know, one evening she'd'n't wear any knickers to dinner and so then I'd have my chance to play her under the table during dinner. Fucking hot, that was.

See this'd be prime time for a wank.

Date: 2009-02-25 06:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
You know, I think I had forgot that about you. You're so romantic, Mike. Brushing hair, bangles, and... The knickers bit is nothing new, of course. And I'd expect it of you.

Let's make a deal, shall we? You leave off names as well.

Do you know what can absolutely ruin the romantic mood? Beds. It's amazing just how good it can be when it's against a wall. And actually, I'd say that though it was properly fast and frantic, against the wall was the best yet.

You didn't entirely answer the question though. What do you like your partner to do to you?

Date: 2009-02-25 07:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oi, don't go blowing my cover, yeah?

I've more than a few fond memories of walls myself. The water's not so shabby either. Buoyancy can be a bitch, but once you've that all sorted, the ride's fantastic.

The question was what turns me on. Everything I listed does exactly that. But if it's specifics you're after, I like my knacks played with. I've'n't had my hands bound but I'm a mite intrigued and'd like to try it. I'm the blindfold's number one fan. Not know what's going to happen next? Ingenious things come from this. Ingenious.

Date: 2009-02-25 07:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, look what you've done. You've gone and made me properly interested in having a good night and yet not with myself. Not at all.

I'd much rather have someone with me. Now what will I do?

Sometimes you're really quite mean.

Date: 2009-02-25 07:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
It's an artform, what can I say?

S'pose you should IO nameless and make plans for the evening because if nameless is as brill as you're touting he is, he'll drop everything to be there with you. Then I can go find my other half and take care of some unfinished business from earlier. Reckon this is what they call everyone going home a winner.

Date: 2009-02-25 07:23 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
We'll see then won't we? Already talking to him, actually, and making plans for his birthday which is Sunday. Don't come round on Sunday, Michael.

Maybe he'll help me finish this wine?

Ew, I don't want to hear about Padma-sex, do I? It's all romantic and lacy.

Date: 2009-02-25 07:31 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Shite. There goes my Sunday plans. Reckon I'll find somewhere safe out of the country to visit. I hear the Franciscan munks're planning one hell of a rave this weekend.

Hold up. You're not supposed to be drinking without me. There's a law that says so, there is.

All apologies, you won't be hearing about it because I'm going to be busy participating in it. Mayhaps I'll send pictures though. Something that really captures the moment.
Edited Date: 2009-02-25 07:32 am (UTC)


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