IO to Parvati Patil ONLY

I've something of an important nature that I'm needing to discuss with you once you're finished sticking pins into that voodoo doll of me you sleep with.

A Boot's a Boot, no matter how you look at it

And Alicia's an ace replacement when the other bows out, even if she does bloody cheat at poker.

So here's a question for the ages: exactly how many Whiz-Bangs does it take to get a bloke like my mate Tony off the ruddy ground? Here's another that's a mite less noteworthy: how long should one expect it to take before they can sit properly again? And before anyone says it, no, it's not for my own ruddy knowledge, I ask out of a genuine curiousity for those with blistered arses.

Which oddly reminds me of the finely dressed bovines of Herefordshire. Anyone see them?