Oi! I haven't said anything offensive. Been positive, reckon you could so far and call it nice even.
General McDougalness. You're dead amusing to annoy. You've a fearsome glare that sets my side in stiches. Then there's the accent. And that you loaned Tony a kilt, though I don't reckon the rest of Hogwarts was keen on that. You haven't shoved a broomstick up my arse or stuck a quill in my eye. Counts for something, that does. You're friends with Padma and that counts for a bloody lot.
Lack of an Adam's apple means lack of a todger. And unless you're Tony, who finds wizards dressed up like witches wearing revealing robes and warbling like a ruddy augurey, that should rank as a nice enough compliment, yeah.
Wide vocabulary. Multiple syllables, creative with the comebacks, don't stutter. Twist things around nicely as well. Particularly fond of the you telling me I'm an arse. Never get enough of that one.
I'm well aware of what it means, but I fail to see how pointing out that I'm female is somehow a compliment. It's not as if I had anything to do with it, is it?
Those... really are compliments. I'd say I was speechless but I doubt you'd believe me. And you're fond of me calling you an arse? If only I'd known, I'd have done it even more.
You could still be female and look male, right? You ever see some of those witches that head down Knockturn Alley? Right scary, they are. Reckon if they didn't know their own bits, they'd be confused themselves.
Might take a bit of trying, but it's possible for me to be nice.
Right then. You're a Ravenclaw. You're clever sometimes, painful to admit. Your tongue's sharp when it's not being shoved down your boyfriend's throat or used on iced lollies, though I haven't witnessed either, so that could be a total misconception. You like books, though not the ones that matter, anyroad. You should work on your taste there, McDougal. At least you're not illiterate. You've a tendency to be wry, but reckon that can go either way, so let's assume it's a compliment, yeah? Best of all, you study loads and I only have to interact with you when it's of necessity. And yes, because you're most likely wondering, bothering you is a necessity. Feel privileged now?
Hmm. I think I see what you mean now, yeah. All right, I suppose that's a compliment then. Almost a roundabout way of saying I don't entirely hurt your eyes, hmm?
I'm beginning to believe that - and it's rather like when I first really understood the differences between the wizard world and the Muggle world. Seems truly unbelievable but it gives me hope.
Ignoring the crude reference to my tongue's many uses, that bit wasn't terrible, either. What books matter, then? I do like them, so if you have some interesting suggestions, I might actually look for them.
You know, I almost get the impression that you actually do like me a bit. It's really quite refreshing.
Now, do you actually intend to tell any of this to Wayne?
Well, you know where St Mungo's is if you want to make certain.
Are you joking?? I'm going to copy all of this down with quill and parchment and have you autograph it for posterity. Perhaps I'll even have copies made, hand them out as party favours.
Do that - I look forward to seeing them. And I have no intention of addressing the last bit you said there - if you'd really like to know that, I reckon you could ask him directly.
Afraid not, no. The truth's out now. Whatever shall we do?
Oh, go on then. I doubt you could really cause any trouble.
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General McDougalness. You're dead amusing to annoy. You've a fearsome glare that sets my side in stiches. Then there's the accent. And that you loaned Tony a kilt, though I don't reckon the rest of Hogwarts was keen on that. You haven't shoved a broomstick up my arse or stuck a quill in my eye. Counts for something, that does. You're friends with Padma and that counts for a bloody lot.
Which one is it gonna be next?
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Although I'll admit that this bit you've just done wasn't so bad, really.
How about my vernacular?
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Wide vocabulary. Multiple syllables, creative with the comebacks, don't stutter. Twist things around nicely as well. Particularly fond of the you telling me I'm an arse. Never get enough of that one.
So that leaves your Ravenclawness left, yeah?
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Those... really are compliments. I'd say I was speechless but I doubt you'd believe me. And you're fond of me calling you an arse? If only I'd known, I'd have done it even more.
I suppose it does, yes.
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Might take a bit of trying, but it's possible for me to be nice.
Right then. You're a Ravenclaw. You're clever sometimes, painful to admit. Your tongue's sharp when it's not being shoved down your boyfriend's throat or used on iced lollies, though I haven't witnessed either, so that could be a total misconception. You like books, though not the ones that matter, anyroad. You should work on your taste there, McDougal. At least you're not illiterate. You've a tendency to be wry, but reckon that can go either way, so let's assume it's a compliment, yeah? Best of all, you study loads and I only have to interact with you when it's of necessity. And yes, because you're most likely wondering, bothering you is a necessity. Feel privileged now?
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I'm beginning to believe that - and it's rather like when I first really understood the differences between the wizard world and the Muggle world. Seems truly unbelievable but it gives me hope.
Ignoring the crude reference to my tongue's many uses, that bit wasn't terrible, either. What books matter, then? I do like them, so if you have some interesting suggestions, I might actually look for them.
You know, I almost get the impression that you actually do like me a bit. It's really quite refreshing.
Now, do you actually intend to tell any of this to Wayne?
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Savour your brief glimpse. Too bloody exhausting, this business of being nice.
You're coming to the party, yeah? I'll set my recommendations aside. Hopkins'll appreciate them unless there's something wrong with his knob.
That's the impression you got? Bloody hell, am I allowed to go back and revise?
Your decision, last I recall.
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Are you joking?? I'm going to copy all of this down with quill and parchment and have you autograph it for posterity. Perhaps I'll even have copies made, hand them out as party favours.
Do that - I look forward to seeing them. And I have no intention of addressing the last bit you said there - if you'd really like to know that, I reckon you could ask him directly.
Afraid not, no. The truth's out now. Whatever shall we do?
Oh, go on then. I doubt you could really cause any trouble.
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I'm tired so I'm heading to sleep now. I'll see you tomorrow evening then.
And I sincerely hope I won't regret all this.
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