mc_mike | (no subject)

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Hey.

I know we haven't talked much since I've returned, Padma, and knowing you, you've probably a few questions. I haven't forgotten what you said and I appreciate the space you've afforded me. And ... well, hell. I've a letter from my mum that I plan to dispose of tonight. Any road, I've no need for it but I'd like to share it with the both of you before I do, if you're interested. It'd be easier for you to read it than for me to ... yeah.

Tony and Terry've already seen it; I took your advice, Turpin and I wanted to say thanks. And I guess I thought you'd want to know. Don't want you to think I feel I owe it to you to share it, because that's a load of bollocks. It's more that I'd like you to have the chance to see it.

Anyway, if you're inclined, you can both come up together later if you like or take it in turns if it's easier.

And before it's asked, I'm fine. Promise I'll smile at least once if it'll reassure you.

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Right-o, Mike. I'd love to read it if you think I'd take interest in it. I'll wait until Padma arrives so we can all read it together.

Together-- that's the only way I want to do things now, really. With others. Our time on this rock is so precious. We should make the most out of every waking moment, I feel.

...alright. Whenever the two of you are free, I'll... come up.

No forced smiles necessary. I know you're as fine as you can be. I'll keep my fussing to myself, promise.

You sure? You don't seem too sure there. If it's something you're uncomfortable with, you're better off telling me. I won't break.

Wouldn't have reasons to force them now, would I?

I just don't want to make you uncomfortable. In any way.

No, Mike, I reckon you wouldn't.

I wouldn't have asked if you made me uncomfortable. You told me you'd be there anytime. Change your mind on that?

...no, of course not, Mike! I just wanted to make certain you were truly sure, and-

-you know what? You're a big boy, and I reckon you've already thought this all out, so- right. I'll stop second-guessing you now.

I'm always here for you. Always.

You sure you're alright? I know I was gone all weekend, but did something happen that you lot aren't telling me?

Yeah, I am. Have been for a while. And I have. Thought this out, that is. I'd like you to come.

Nothing that wasn't already in place before you left. At least for me, anyway.

I know. Just... hard to think of you that way, knowing you as I have since you were 11. But I've stood by you since then, and will continue to so. Always.

What's that supposed to mean? Anything you want to talk about?

If you'd like, I can shrink my uniform a few sizes and wear it for you if it'd help. Frankly, I wouldn't mind that bit so much. Being eleven again. I'd have more time with my dad.

I know you will. I hope you will. You know the same goes for me, yeah?

It's nothing important. Rather, it shouldn't be important. Reckon I need to just... re-assess... some things.

I've some news, which might make you smile, though. Pansy and I have been talking. Rather, we've been IOing, as every time we speak in person, one of us, at least, leaves offended. But on the Firelogs... well, she reminds me of you.

...what would you do? If you could do that?

Of course. You know, you've always... made me feel safe.

Shouldn't and actually being so are two different things.

Pansy? Reminds you of me? How is that? The pair of you having misunderstandings over the Firelogs, too? I know it can't be because she looks like me. Frightening thought, that.

Lots of things, I reckon. Laugh at his abysmal jokes, for one; he was an awful cardplayer, so I'd let him win a few rounds of snap but I'd still take him for his worth in poker; take the time to sit down and ask him how he is and actually listen. Stuff like that I'd change. Cor, I rambled on there like a big girl's blouse.

Sure you don't mean to say I've always made you feel exasperated?

Yes, they are. But if I had considered all of the hints you've dropped about this ~~per~~ subject in the past, maybe they wouldn't be.

No, actually we get on better over the Firelogs. But she's... amusingly arrogant. In a self-aware sort of way. Reckon that doesn't sound too flattering, but I mean for it to be. And it reminds me of you.

...and are you so sure you don't look like her? You have borrowed her clothes in the past, after all. ;)

I imagine you've done some of that in the past. You've always showed me your thoughtful and considerate side, anyway. Reckon your father saw that in you too.

And don't be ashamed of being open with me, Mike, please. I promise- I'm not judging you nor sharing anything you tell me in confidence. I only want to help.

...that too. But I stand by what I said.

Now you're talking in riddles. Hints I've dropped about ~~who~~ what?

Amusingly arrogant? I won't be offended so long as I'm considered the fit one.

Was sure before, but now I'm reconsidering trying on my dress again to be doubly certain.

Doesn't matter that I've done that in the past. Just like to do it some more, make sure he knew and all that rot. The last time I saw him was during Christmas hols, did you know? Seems so bloody long ago.

I'm to wonder how someone who's amusingly arrogant can manage the notions of being thoughtful and considerate. Have you ever once considered I was having you on?

I know you're not. It feels awkward, though, you know?

Think I could get an opinion off you?

Well ... that's quite the compliment. Something that Tony, Terry, and I can always be counted on for, as you need it.

~~Bloody~~ Your... least favourite Ravenclaw prefect.

Pansy and I have already agreed upon your loveliness, actually. So, um, yes.

I think you should, and then come over to the girls' dorm, and let Lisa, Morag and I appraise you. Always helps to have a set of someone else's eyes. ;)

In India, we sometimes say that a person's awareness- memory, intelligence- all that makes a person an individual human- stays within the soul body, even as the physical body perishes. Though you're not Hindu, nor a part of my extended family, of course, I hope there's some comfort to be found that... perhaps, he can still know.

...are you saying I can't trust you, Mike?

I can't imagine it not being so, no.

Of course.

...Right. I've never doubted it.

Something's happened between you and Tony? It hasn't anything to do with a Slytherin prefect, does it?

Fine thing to be in agreement upon. Right odd that you've discussed it, but I can't fault either of you for agreeing upon it.

Not trying to convince me to come up and lift my skirt for you three, are you?

That's ... that's ... thanks, Padma. Maybe he can. I reckon I'd like to believe that.

All I'm saying is you're a big girl. You can make your own decisions.

Right. It's a bit interesting, actually. It involves Pansy in a sort.

It's just that, my mum's decided that she's selling our house and as a result, we're to live with my grandparents. I've told you about them before, yeah? Well, Pansy's offered to employ my mum as caretaker of her ~~house~~ manor for the upcoming year, which'd mean we'd be living there instead. It'd be brilliant not to be stuck in Wellingborough, but...what's your take? You've been there, right?

Believe it or not, when she IOed- to apologise, actually, for- what happened between the three of us on the way to the DA, I told her I wasn't hacked off. Not at her.

He... deceived me. Unsuccessfully, yes, but he meant to. Later, in a private IO, he said... said maybe I shouldn't trust him. I- haven't stopped thinking about it since. Tony. And all the bloody irony. I tried so hard to protect him from the cruelties of the world, and then he ended up hurting me.

We were discussing gambling, which led to the comment that you looked lovely in your dress. Also that she'll take me out for a butterbeer if I ever deflate your swollen head.

There's no need of that, Mike; we were all present the morning you streaked, I believe. ~~Though it certainly sounds like you're acting the tease.~~

... lately, my decisions seem to be irrevocably in the wrong.

... what?

You can't be- Pansy Parkinson- your mother- Mike, she- um, knows she's non-ma- a muggle, right? How could she even see the estate?

Merlin, I know I must be handling this wrong. I just- can't believe- It's like the whole bloody world has been turned on it's head. In a good way for once, at least. ...

...but I've been there, yes. Granted, it's been several years now. It's... very vast. And very decadent. A formal sort of place, but that might have been the company I was keeping.

Seeing as how I wasn't around then and I don't know exactly what happened, how did he deceive you? I've a bloody hard time imagining he'd set out to hurt you, just as I can't imagine you doing the same. I mean, it's bloody Tony. Isn't it?

You promptly told her not to hold her breath, yeah? And I reckon you'll both be needing to take me out as my head needs no such doing.

Just because you were present, doesn't mean you got yourself a good look. ~~Make of it what you will~~

Then asking for my opinion doesn't seem to be such a brilliant idea after all, does it?

Pansy knows she's a Muggle and I've asked her the same question. She told me that there's a tonne of anti-Muggle enchantments and wards on the place, but she has someone looking into it to fix all that so there won't be any problems with my mum.

Decadent? Filled with sweets and vanilla custard now, is it? If that's the case, I'd have to up my swimming by two hours a day to work off all that excess. I don't fancy having to purchase new dresses.

Just- Merlin, I shouldn't, but- just the two of them. And me, walking to the DA meeting together, right- and- the two of them- obviously trying to distract me from their- relationship or issues or whatever- but I knew, because- Tony, you know, he's just- bad at lying- I mean, as if he never told her about his father's bloody restaurant! Honestly!

- and yeah, he said- IOed- "it's not a violation of your individual wants or an abuse of your personal feelings, is it? I didn't think that walking with us would be something horribly abusive" but also that- "Maybe you... shouldn't. Trust me, I mean." And I don't know, Mike, I just don't know- it's like the whole bloody world's been twisted inside out on so many different bloody levels, and-.... I don't know. ~~I'm sorry.~~

...actually, I told her "I reckon him witnessing the act of me drinking at all would be enough to accomplish my goal." ;-P

Well, of course I- we, really- couldn't get a "good look;" you were running, after all! ~~Um, yes. Take that as you will.~~

...what do you mean, your opinion? Your opinion on what? And what do your opinions have to do with my decisions? Bloody- I can't figure out anything anymore. Bloody hell.

Who? She knows someone who can do that? I'd reckon those'd be pretty complicated spells. Just... wow. Feel I don't know anyone anymore. I mean- it's great, of course. I'm so glad you and your family have- plans. I hope you know... if you need me for anything... right.

Not that kind of decadent, Mike, I meant... ornate. Though- er, from what I've seen, anyhow- I don't reckon swimming off extra calories would be much of a problem for you.

And, um... by the way... sorry about any huge mood swings in my IOs. I told Tony this too- I think I'm... changing. Bloody hell, just ignore me. Just wanted to explain.

No apologies necessary. I don't know what to say.

You'd have to lose a bet to find out. Speaking of bets, there's something I need to go over with you.

Leisurely stroll for next time, noted. ~~I think you're the one who's the tease.~~

If your decision is to ask my opinion if you should trust me and you've not had luck with your decisions as of late, then you shouldn't -- nevermind. I've lost my ruddy train of thought there.

I don't know who. Someone who's loads of experience with Charms, I reckon. A cursebreaker or a spellbuilder, maybe. I hope whatever she's got in mind works. I do.

I was having you on. I knew what you meant. So you did catch a glimpse of me in the Great Hall, after all. And here I thought all this time you closed your eyes.

Jesus, Padma. I'm not going to bloody ignore you. What kind of mate would I be if I did? Look, Tony and Terry are both off somewhere, so you want to come keep a lonely bloke company? We can play snap or something. Witches choice.

...alright. I'm glad I'm not- wearing you out, Mike; I'd never want that.

About bets? I hope you don't still feel yourself indebted to ours. In retrospect, the entire idea was rather silly of me- what with my conditions, Merlin- though I must admit my motives were pure. :D

...oh bloody- you're not going to use my ~~teas~~ words as an excuse to streak again- and get Professor Flitwick mad at you- again- and lose House points- again- would you? Could you do that to me? *pouts*

...I reckon I've lost mine too. What I mean to say, really, is- I want to trust you, Mike. I always have. I already told you that bit about- yeah. Right.

Why- well, I had no idea what you were doing, and- well, you were gone so quickly, that- well, it's not like I saw anything, so... right! ~~And you say I'm the tease?~~

I meant, ignore my- whinging, but- thanks. Thanks so much for your friendship, Mike, I mean it. It's meant... well... anyway, yes, I'd love to come up.

You could never wear me out. Wear me down, maybe, but not worn me out.

No worries over the conditions. I didn't object because I knew I would win. But a bet is a bet and ours went unfinished. It would be dead irresponsible of us to abandon it. I've an idea now, though. You wouldn't mind changing the bet over to the Quidditch match, would you?

If I streak again, I promise to do it within the confines of the common room. Late at night, so as not to drive fear into the younger ones.

Then trust me.

Are you blushing? Nevermind, I'll find out when I see you. And you're welcome.

...really? I could do that? I'd best keep it in mind then. >:D

Right. You keep telling yourself that. ;) A bet over Quidditch? What exactly are you thinking about here? Surely you've got a whole elaborate scheme planned out in your Mike's-head. ;)

I would be most appreciative of the gesture, certainly. :)

I trust you.

I reckon I should stop talking to you here when I could talk to you in person. The only advantage this forum has is expressly that you can't see the blush. :D

Funny, Padma.

As it's the truth, I reckon I will. And Quidditch - you may be disappointed with how uncomplicated my scheme is, but it's one that you no doubt are in need of. It's simple: you pick which team you believe will win; if you're right, I have to do whatever it is that you want me to do; if you're wrong, you're to spend the last evening of this school year with with the three of us, relaxing and enjoying a drink. And I'm not talking about pumpkin juice.

Would you bear witness or would you be busy seeing that none of them sneak back downstairs?

Good. I trust you.

That's a disadvantage, more like. Step it up, will you? I don't wish to miss it.

...you think I'm not serious? :D

...what? Mike, I can't. Even if I wanted to- I'm a prefect ~~yes, I know you know~~, and- I have an image to uphold. What if one of the younger years saw me? I'm sorry... but no, I just can't.

How long, exactly, would you feel the need to streak around our common room? Surely you don't want to make this an all-night affair.

Good. I'm glad we're in agreement there.

...I highly doubt you're in any danger of that. ;)

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