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The Ten Things I've Learnt in India Thus Far
10) The Taj Mahal's fucking incredible.
9) Sometimes cobbing's necessary to get your girlfriend a seat on a coach. A good throw in's not so bad an idea either.
8) It takes three full days for your body to acclimate to Indian cuisine.
7) Beaches aren't for swimming. They're for congregating.
6) No matter where you are, never tell any of your girlfriend's family you're undecided in your future. You'll wind up with a long list of arse-numbingly dull suggestions and unwanted expectations to follow through with them.
5) Cows are like tourists. They're sodding everywhere.
4) You don't casually cross a street in India. It's bleeding impossible. You close your eyes, pray to Merlin's goolies that you'll make it across, run for it, and try not to hit a cow.
3) Monkeys have no shame. The cheeky buggers'll stick their hands down your trouser pockets for anything in hopes of grabbing a peanut.
2) The Indians were really onto something with the whole Kama Sutra thing.
And lastly, the most important lesson I've learnt thus far on my Indian holiday:
1) Always drink bottled water. Always. Life or death, we're talking about here. But don't buy any from the kids on the street. And we thought You-Know-Who was a bloody menace.
9) Sometimes cobbing's necessary to get your girlfriend a seat on a coach. A good throw in's not so bad an idea either.
8) It takes three full days for your body to acclimate to Indian cuisine.
7) Beaches aren't for swimming. They're for congregating.
6) No matter where you are, never tell any of your girlfriend's family you're undecided in your future. You'll wind up with a long list of arse-numbingly dull suggestions and unwanted expectations to follow through with them.
5) Cows are like tourists. They're sodding everywhere.
4) You don't casually cross a street in India. It's bleeding impossible. You close your eyes, pray to Merlin's goolies that you'll make it across, run for it, and try not to hit a cow.
3) Monkeys have no shame. The cheeky buggers'll stick their hands down your trouser pockets for anything in hopes of grabbing a peanut.
2) The Indians were really onto something with the whole Kama Sutra thing.
And lastly, the most important lesson I've learnt thus far on my Indian holiday:
1) Always drink bottled water. Always. Life or death, we're talking about here. But don't buy any from the kids on the street. And we thought You-Know-Who was a bloody menace.
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Though I don't recall the Kama Sutra playing a large part in our holiday thus far, Mr Corner.
Private to Padma Only
Reckon that's because we've been practising the abridged version.
Re: Private to Mike Only
...I can't even respond to that.
Private to Padma Only
You're wanting to try, you know you are.
Re: Private to Mike Only
I'm not even sure which it you're referring to.
Private to Padma Only
How abouts I show you then?
Re: Private to Mike Only
...now?
Private to Padma Only
Re: Private to Mike Only
Private to Padma Only
Re: Private to Mike Only
no subject