mc_mike | IO to Hogwarts Students Only

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Even though Ravenclaw kicked their arses last game -- thereby giving us our only bleeding pathetic win (ruddy fluke, that was, though I wouldn't blame you lot if it was a sympathy loss, yeah), Hufflepuff's the odds on favourite tomorrow. Which means that the rest of you lot out there - unless you're a badger yourself - should be placing your money on Slytherin, so as to fill my pockets come collection time.

Tony, Terry? I reckon I'm feeling a mite celebratory.

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Ah. And you want me to let her know the- particulars of what you hold in your trousers?

Something of the sort. Was hoping really you could draw her a picture. Whistler did this ace rendition, but I reckon it'd embarrass Tony and Terry if I showed her that particular drawing.

Embarrass Tony and Terry. Right.

And what makes you so uncertain about her- opinion of your- assets?

Embarrass them, yeah. See, their todgers were bigger than their heads as well. Not sure they want every witch in the world seeing something of the sort. You know how modest those two pillocks are.

I reckon I could just drop trou and let it do the talking for itself. She's a conservative one though; don't know how well that'd all go over.

Ever so much so. I doubt they can even undress within the communal setting of the dorm.

Interesting. Tell me, Mike, is the size of one's- endowment in direct parallel with the amount of vulnerability it feels about it's own worth?

They hide behind their hangings. Dead embarrassing, it is. Ashamed to admit I even know them, sometimes.

Nah. It's morelike I don't want to scare this witch off. She's bloody amazing, this one. And pictures never hurt.

Perhaps you should make yourself more available to Kevin, then.

If she's so amazing, perhaps you should have faith in her opinion, as it stands. But I reckon you're right- pictures don't hurt. And I- certainly have no qualms taking the time to study this particular valuable of yours.

That one has a love affair with a bloke that thinks he's a spider. Nah. Rather take my chances on shame forever with the other two.

I don't know her opinion, so the faith bit's a bit hard to do.

Wouldn't want you to draw something off, so I reckon studying it for as long as you need's the responsible route to go.

Maybe you should give new people a chance, Mr Corner.

...what if I were to ask this witch for her opinion, and then report it to you?

You know I like being responsible, Mikey.

Whistler's not new. That witch that answered the advert is, though.

I don't know. S'pose you could, but I'm not all convinced that she'd tell you. She's a private one, a bit hard to read sometimes. But if you can report back honestly, I say why not give it a go.

And overachieve. I know that well, I do.

He's new to you.

I think I could persuade her- only if you truly want me to.

I do. It's testament to how much I care.

Padma, I've lived with him for seven years. He stopped being new when we took him out of his package.

Dying of curiousity over here, Patil. And if you need help on the persuasion part, let me know.

True, that. The bloke that winds up with you is one sodding lucky bastard.

People can change with time, Mike.

Oh? And what would you have to offer said witch?

Rest assured, Mr Corner, that I would only give myself to the very best.

The only thing that's changed with Whistler is the poster on his wall.

That's between me and the witch. I'll have to make her a special offer then. Work up my details and all that good stuff.

Have I told you I love you?

Alright, Mikey. I'll not nag you any more.

A special offer? How intriguing. And what, pray tell, would be your desired ends to such an offer?

And oo, how the plot thickens. Are you offering yourself up as a possible suitor, then? I love you, too.

Would it be ungentlemanly of me to say beforehand or is that something that's saved for strictly after?

Possibly. You've any applications in already?

I don't know about said witch- but in most cases, I would always like to know what the ultimate end is expected to be before entering into an arrangement.

Perhaps I could bring my credentials to you personally. Would that be agreeable?

Her. Me. Naked. Nothing but truth, honesty, raw emotion, passion, and love between us.

More than agreeable. I would assume this needs my immediate attention?

...Well. That certainly is direct, Mr Corner. I thank you for your honesty. I imagine- should this young witch be anything like me- that these terms would be something she seeks out herself from time to time.

I don't think immediate attention is required. I feel we've grown to know each other quite well through our discourse tonight; I have faith in the fact that we have reached a mutual understanding. For now, I must retire. Goodnight, Mikey. Good luck tomorrow, as you engage in that pastime of which I have no knowledge.

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