Attention, attention!!

[mc_mike]

Parvati Patil is the spunkiest dove bird, is the word I'm looking for, in all of Lucky Country (aptly named, in case you couldn't guess) and Brian Sullivan is the Rock God of Oz. Isaac Thorne? The testosterone answer to Celestina Warbeck and Taurina Vega. Just look at them in my picture. Go on, take a squizz. Handsome blokes, aren't they? Except for the chimp chump on the left.

And what about me, you bastards ask? I, Mike Corner, am a larrikin and an arse and the world's biggest nong for making a gorgeous witch cry.


You may fall at my feet and adore me now.

Comments

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lisa_turpin/]

What have you been drinking?

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

I'm full on beauty and lust and song and awe of my bonzer cobbers, beautiful, beautiful Lisa, and you embody all of it, don't you? It's what brings the masses back clamoring for more.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lisa_turpin/]

A-HA! I get it now, I get it!! You're not pissed at all, are you, my darling!!

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

If you do, then don't spoil the fun yet!

I have rather simian features, don't I?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lisa_turpin/]

How'd you do it??

Yes, but the cheeks are so squidgy and cute!

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

Using my magical prowess. A swotting for a class for important pomms could have helped too.

Does that mean I should cancel the appointment with the plastic?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_patil_padma/]

Do I want to know what you've been up to?

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

Nothing with your sister, fair dinkum. But I want to. What do you think I should do to better my chances with her?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_patil_parvati/]

Flowers, for starters.

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

Flowers? I can do flowers. How about a unit full of flowers, all the colours of the rainbow? Will you crawl my way then?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_patil_parvati/]

You'll have to try it and see, because that is the ONLY way you'll find out!!

Or we could come up with another plan that doesn't involve flowers...

[http://users.livejournal.com/_patil_padma/]

...you two by chance aren't under the Confundus Charm, are you?

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

How about a plan that involves you, me, a magic carpet, the Eiffel Tower, and a bottle of Loire's best?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_patil_padma/]

You know, when I expressed the hope that you and she get on better, I didn't quite mean in this capacity.

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

Whereas I always hoped it would be in this capacity.

I just had a bonzer brain wave! You should join us and triple the fun! How about it? Interested?

[http://users.livejournal.com/_patil_padma/]

Why Michael Corner.

Is this what you want?

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

Is that a yes? I'm ready to have a naughty if you are.

[ms-pansy.livejournal.com]

More slang? Wonderful.

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

No slang? How's this:

I, Mike Corner, am an arse, an arse, and an arse? And - what's that word again? Pillick, that's right. I'm a pillick too.

[ms-pansy.livejournal.com]

Pillock.


This isn't amusing. We were having a serious conversation.

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

That.

And I am seriously sorry.

[ms-pansy.livejournal.com]

No, no, you're not. You're acting so odd.

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

You're right, you're right. I am acting odd. I'll get me some firewhisky and stop but only if you tell me you believe me when I say I'm sorry.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_lavender_b/]

I wholeheartedly, one-hundred-and-fifty-thousand percent agree with everything you've said EXCEPT for the very last sentence. But I totally agree with everything else, ESPECIALLY everything said about Parvati! Ooo! And about Michael being horrible too!

[http://users.livejournal.com/mike_corner_/]

Don't be a piker. You know you secretly adore me! No one can resist my simian-ness! It makes me strangely fascinating in an adorably squidgy sickening kind of way.